is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Someone shattered a urinal.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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