you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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