You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
