I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i was born a porn star she said
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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