Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
