worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
