Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
