So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my shit smells like andre
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize