Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize