I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
