you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
