Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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