just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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