I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
