Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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