Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
