Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Slut skills are useful in every country.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
