we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
