i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You've changed since you got that strap on
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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