69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Randomize
