So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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