so explain again why im purple
no
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
