Sponge bath it is.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
