butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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