BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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