Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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