I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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