umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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