hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
