Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
