We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The air taste purple.
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