So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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