remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
