Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
