Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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