Will you blow on my dice?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
