I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize