Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
