Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
