Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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