I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
