So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
