**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
