And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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