I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
