i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
