I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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