Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
