So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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