the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
