I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
