we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
birth control should be required to get into college
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
