I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
