ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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