3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
