can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Someone came in the potted fern
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize