I'm jealous of your bromance
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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