Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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