so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
